Fantasy

when I touch myself
and I close my eyes
I try not to picture him
don't want 'will he?'
don't want 'what if..'

when I touch myself
there in the dark
I picture faceless people
imagine how they feel
maybe I don't want to do
what they're doing
but it doesn't matter
because I'm not

if I thought of him
I'd wish his hands were mine
and then I'd want
the rest of him
and it would all fall apart

so when the heat
drives my fingers to wander
and the pleasure
weighs down my lids
I save my love
for when I'm with him
and think up phantoms
until it's done

go back

---

© Honey Laura Clark